I grew up in these tall soviet style apartment blocks that each resembled one another. My building was in the shadow of another building directly across it that had a playground, and the sun would shine there in the afternoons. My building had no playground and it got no sun.
On one sunny afternoon I was feeling particularly courageous and decided to cross over to the neighbors playground that was basking empty in the sun. I knew I was not supposed to be there. I was a painfully shy 5-year old, and afraid to look up all my young life. So I would walk looking down at my shoes, to make sure nobody would notice me, or make eye contact.
As I got to the playground I settled myself inside a nice sandbox and started building castles. Amidst the castle building, it suddenly occurred to me to look up to the sky, since there was nobody around. This was the first time I had ever truly seen THE SKY!
Suddenly, I experienced the vast and boundless nature of the sky and felt myself dissolving into it. This wave of euphoria of having become one with the sky immersed me in a total sense of peace and ecstasy, and what I can only describe as ‘God Consciousness’ took over me.
I sat there for probably over an hour, my head turned high up towards the sky, and my heart expanding into the billion-fold universe. Sand castles were left unfinished, and the playground disappeared entirely. I was in some type of early childhood samadhi, for I lost all sense of the self, time and place, and my fear of looking up beyond my red rubber boots dissolved in an instant.
Somehow I was inside the sky and the sky was inside me.
I remember what brought me back was my neck starting to hurt, as I could no longer keep my head up. If it wasn’t for that, I doubt I would have ever returned.
To this day, I reach back to this childhood memory when I am afraid to share myself with the world; to expand my playground, and when I am afraid to look up.
The nature of the spirit is boundless like the sky, and so often we forget this when trying to fit it into this small human life. It’s impossible for the spirit to be contained in one place or time, in one single way of being, in one body. Spirit by its nature is free, and mind tries to put on shackles for it.
The message in this little story? Don’t make yourself so small. Share your gifts with the world. Don’t be afraid to look up. Remember the vastness of your true nature.