Healing the Rejection Wound

 “Whatever is rejected from the self, appears in the world as an event.”  – C.G. Jung

What if this thing called rejection is only a story that the mind has conjured up to keep you from tasting the fullness of life? What if it’s preventing you from experiencing the bliss of a true intimate connection with another soul? When you look deep within, to the darkest cave of your past, do you see the light of consciousness shining toward you, beckoning you to soar higher.. until you can no longer cling to this dysfunctional pit of darkness?

Out of all experiences in life rejection is the one that seems to push our buttons hardest. No wonder we walk around with such a heavy emotional arsenal against it. A variety of defensive patterns that supposedly ”protect us” from getting hurt. Such as being overtly reclusive or independent, or getting caught in a shallow speed dating pattern, only so you can reject others before they reject you. These barriers only shut us down further, and prevent the healing. Most of us crave intimacy on a deep, primal level, and yet we block access to it because of old protective mechanisms.

Let’s face it: everyone has experienced rejection at some point in their lives and it was never pretty.


1. Do the work and heal this BS!

2. Ignore it and pretend to move on (bad idea!).

Re-living our stories we will only deepen the scar. This often happens when we enter in a relationship trying to patch up the wound with other people who are broken in the same way – dating people who carry the same unprocessed wound. And, before you realize it, the situation turns into one big rejection festival. Who left who? We have this way of hurting others in the same way that we have been hurt. Aaah.. it was the karma, you say. But this karma is only real if you were unaware of your story and chose to repeat it.


All rejection is really our inner self rejection projecting itself into outer reality. We unconsciously sabotage the operation because of core beliefs we harbor. Whether it is you that are doing the rejecting or being rejected, it’s all part of the same play.

Most likely the person who seemingly rejected you carried an unacknowledged part of your story that you weren’t ready to own. If you were not aware of this until now, this is the one realization that will turn your life inside out – or more accurately – outside in.

There is no one else to blame. What now? Can you see how you’ve been sabotaging all your relationships because of this small misunderstanding?

When you shift the focus on YOU alone, you can finally stop finding fault in outer circumstances and blaming other people. Then, find out how and why you are rejecting yourself.

How do you keep yourself  ”safe” so you don’t have to experience rejection? Where do you hold feelings of not being worthy of love? These are the blocks that cause repeated rejection to occur. By healing the rejection wound within yourself, you no longer attract this experience in your life.


In what ways have I not allowed love into my life?

Have I not forgiven someone who seemingly ”rejected me”?

What defense patterns do I engage in that keep me from loving and being loved?

Am I holding on to hurt from past relationships ending?


“A cup that is already full has no room to receive.” – A Zen Proverb

If your cup is full of defenses and hurt from all those outdated rejection encounters, you have no room for receiving love.

Somewhere in your inner operating system there is a command that says: I am not worthy of love, or, I am not good enough as I am. This prompt keeps you on automatic, no matter what your conscious wishes may be. If you think you can enter into a relationship and not have it end up in another rejection scenario – without doing the work of self forgiveness and healing – think again. These patterns don’t change until we do.

When you subconsciously send out signals of low self worth, what shoots back are situations and people that reflect it. Then we wonder why we keep getting into so-called rejection scenarios, over and over again.

So, find out what your inner blueprint says. Are you hiding a sense of worthlessness behind a facade of pride, self directed sarcasm, or rap about how none of this stuff even applies to you?

A quick way to see how much you really love yourself, is by taking a look at how people closest to you in your daily life are treating you. This is a direct barometer of your sense of self worth. The people closest to you, or their absence, can teach you most about how much you love yourself at this moment.

Remember, that there is a bigger picture in every heartache. Life is really teaching you to love more – through the pain – even if it feels like a stagger in the heart. We continuously set ourselves up for rejection unless we truly learn how to accept and love ALL parts of ourselves. This is the journey back to wholeness.


There is no express way to loving yourself more. It’s a matter of making the choice, and then following up with consistency and commitment to yourself, day by day.

When you start focusing on loving yourself and living life the way you want it, miracles start to happen. Suddenly, all these barriers start crumbling down. This is the single most valuable thing you can do to yourself and others. After all, all of your experiences and relationships arise from this place of unconditional love and acceptance of yourself.

Here is the way it works: the more genuine self love you can allow in (not talking about egoistical, self indulgent kind of love, but soul love), the more loving people and circumstances you will attract in your life. From a place of authentic self love, it is impossible to experience rejection, because there is nothing to reject!


Start living in the present moment, conscious of who you want to be TODAY. You have chosen this experience and finally understand what it was all about. Just process it, and choose to let go. Pain and joy are both part of life’s ebb and flow. They come and go. Don’t hold on to your pain for longer than necessary.

Ultimately, rejection is another story we tell ourselves to avoid being truly vulnerable and open. Allow the feelings to run through you without resistance, and realize that you were never truly rejected by anyone else, nor were they.

All we really need to do is LET GO of the stories that keep us from realizing the illusion of separateness.

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