In Existential

Medicine Owl Turns 10!

The Humble Story of How Medicine Owl Began…

Yes, this website has been online for a decade!

Ten years ago I was living in central Mexico in a small mountain town with one suitcase of clothing and an old laptop. Fresh out of a divorce with nothing to hang on to, and in the middle of a potent existential crisis. My old identity was fading and I had no material possessions left as evidence of my previous life. The bank account was empty and I didn’t speak enough Spanish to save my life. For the third time in my life, I was single and homeless in a foreign country, with no friends or family to turn to. Everything I knew was gone. But deep down I felt that I was getting close to something real, and I had a tremendous amount of faith that carried me forward.

Because my heart was opened by faith I was able to summon what I needed quite rapidly. Although I had no money to rent an apartment, or even a single room, soon I was offered a temporary living space in an empty house by a kind fellow traveler on the spiritual path. Mil Gracias Pedro! In this sanctuary I began reconstructing my life, one small step at a time. By serendipity, the nearly empty house had amazing spiritual literature which I eagerly devoured. I also began to meditate. I remember eating nothing but potatoes for weeks but feeling grateful. The house was remote and getting to town and back by foot took hours, which limited my outings. I ended up spending several weeks at a time without seeing anyone or leaving the sanctuary. This allowed for my silence to deepen so I could more easily connect with my higher self for guidance.

I had no clue how to continue living or where to go next, so I prayed. One night before going to bed I prayed from a place of sincere desperation to be shown what my purpose is. That night my old friend, the Owl appeared. In dream-time, the Owl told me to start a website called The Medicine Owl and begin to share what I had learned through experience. When I woke up the next morning I thought the idea seemed utterly ridiculous and actually got up laughing. This was my purpose?! It was not the grandeur message I was expecting. But the command lingered loud and clear for days. I had nothing left and nothing to lose by going with it. So I opened my laptop and made a website for myself, something I knew how to do back then, coming from a decade of web design- a career which I had left behind.

My first few articles were about grounding, meditation, and the subconscious mind. I was searching for my writing voice. Staying anonymous for years allowed me to focus on letting the message come through. I experimented with channeled writing, also known as automatic writing, something I still use today. Most of all, I wanted to hear what the Owl had to say and what this Owl business was all about. Several years passed and I would occasionally write something and then disappear. I had no clue how to use the information that was streaming through. I already knew my mission was to teach and guide others. But how to survive in the material realm while doing this? I can’t say I’ve fully figured that out yet. 😂

Purpose is a trickster. We often wear many different hats, go through various careers, all the while training to become who we really are. It is not a straightforward path, and only time will tell. A lifelong puzzle is usually involved. As we mature and heal more of our stuff, we allow the purpose to naturally unfold. But it may not be quite what you expect! Here is a valuable pointer on purpose: find out what stays. When your life is stripped bare with no life preserver, no false identity, or material security, what remains?

“Ruins” in GTO Mexico, Photo by Michael Amici


So the story of Medicine Owl began in these humble settings. From my ruins a purpose emerged. It has not been an easy journey for this Owl. But I will not give up because I wholeheartedly believe that living a life of purpose is the only cure for the great existential heartache. I was born knowing this. I have no idea how my mission as the voice of Medicine Owl will present itself tomorrow or next week, but I am continuously willing to show up for the work, and that must mean something. Thank you for reading and being along for the ride!

A decade now on this colorful journey! In humble gratitude I bow for the medicine of the Owl.


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